Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane

My apologies to all seven of you who were waiting with bated breath for the second part of "The Koepp and I". I'm working on it. Okay, I'm not working on it. If I had been working on it you wouldn't be reading this instead. Whatever. I'll get to it. It's not like I don't know what happens. But like I said before...I've got limited good material and I need to stretch it out.

So I'm reading the internet the other day as we webmasters are wont to do and I come across the news that I've been praying about for months: the film formerly known as SNAKES ON A PLANE and then recently known as PACIFIC AIR ONE-TWENTY WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK has been returned to its glory and is being renamed SNAKES ON A PLANE!

I think.

You can read the article yourself. Now nowhere does the studio actually say they're changing the title. But Sam Jackson's pretty sure he's doing a movie called SNAKES ON A PLANE. And if Sam Jackson thinks he's doing a movie called SNAKES ON A're doing a movie called SNAKES ON A PLANE.

Why do I care? Because I love SNAKES ON A PLANE. Love it. It makes me giggle like the fat, lazy schoolgirl I am. Here's why:

Some months ago my agent called me (we'll call him...Agent). Agent says: "New Line's got a project they want you to look at. They're making the movie. They love it. It needs a little work."

Now when a studio tells you something needs "a little work" what that really means is "maybe it needs a little work, maybe it needs a lotta work, maybe you should tell us how much work it needs...but we want to make this movie so let's all just agree that no matter how much work it is, we'll call it 'a little work'".

I ask Agent the name of the project, what it's about, etc. He says: Snakes on a Plane. Holy shit, I'm thinking. It's a title. It's a concept. It's a poster and a logline and whatever else you need it to be. It's perfect. Perfect. It's the Everlasting Gobstopper of movie titles.

I say to Agent: "Tell me nothing else. Get me the script and put me on the phone with those lucky bastards at New Line Cinema!"

So he does and he does.

Now out of both loyalty to the sacred bond between studio and screenwriter and also a serious desire to keep getting hired in this town, I will not give away any of the plot details of SNAKES ON A PLANE. But know this. As the great Sam Jackson would say: There are motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane.

What else do you need to know? How the snakes get on the plane, what the snakes do once they're on the plane, who puts the snakes on the plane, who is trying to get the snakes off the plane...This is not for you to ponder. There are snakes on the plane. End of fucking story.

In fact, during the two or three days that precedes my phone call with the studio, I become obsessed with the concept. Not as a movie. But as a sort of philosophy. Somnewhere in between "Cest la vie", "Whattya gonna do?" and "Shit happens" falls my new zen koan "Snakes on a Plane".

WIFE: "Honey you stepped in dog poop again. "
ME: "Snakes on a Plane..."
DOCTOR: "Your cholesterol is 290. Perhaps you want to mix in a walk once in a while."
ME: "Snakes on a Plane..."
WIFE: "Honey while you were on your cholesterol walk you stepped in dog poop again."

You get the picture.

Now I'm not a big rewrite guy and I do not love the ambulance chasing quality to script doctoring...I have done less than many but more than some and it's been a while since I've been holier than thou about that part of the business.

So I get on the phone. It's a conference call and I think maybe three people are on the phone and one's an old friend of mine and she and I do most of the talking. But here's the salient part and it comes early:

ME: "Oh my God I just have to say first and foremost that SNAKES ON A PLANE is the single greatest movie title of all time. I'm even using it as a zen koan. You have to promise me if I sign on to rewrite this you will NEVER change the title to something sort of generic and stupid like FLIGHT ONE-TWENTY WHO GIVES A FUCK."
ME: "You're changing the title aren't you?"
OLD FRIEND: Well, we were thinking, we need to make it a little scarier, a little more thriller-y, something not so camp..."

Needless to say things go downhill fast from there. I become sort of ornery and nitpicky on the phone and do the thing that studio executives and my wife hate more than anything: I bring up problems without providing any sort of solutions.

People hate that.

So I don't do the job and someone else does and frankly at that point I lose interest in following the SNAKES ON A PLANE saga. The movie could be the Next Great Deadly Animal Loose on a Plane movie and my heart'll always be a little sad. And believe it or not maybe there's a little screenwriting lesson in here somewhere:

If you're gonna do it, do it. Don't creep right up close to it, think about doing it, and then back off just a bit and try to convince yourself you're still doing it. You're not. It's binary. You either have faith or you don't. You're either doing it, or you're not.

I hope I've made myself clear.


Weeks later I am sitting in a lobby waiting to have a meeting with a producer who has kept me waiting an hour because he is "catching up" with Paris Hilton. (There is no story there. That's all I know.) Sitting next to me is a special effects team who's working on one of the producer's other movies. They have been waiting almost two hours and I have been bumped in line ahead of them. I feel bad about this and give them a sheepish smile and shrug. One of them says: "Whattya gonna do?" The other one shakes her head and says "Snakes on a Plane..."

I fall off my chair.


Blogger Luben said...

Hilarious... I can totally see how the snakes eventually take care of all the qualified people who know how to land the plane, with the exception, of course, of our hero, who is in a terrible need of redeeming himself that very day...


PS. Staying tuned for the "Black Dahlia" piece you've been promising.

8/17/2005 9:04 PM  
Blogger Kidsis said...

Sequel title: Snakes in Hollywood!

Or will it be: Snakes in the Hilton! Rated NC-17

Can't wait.

8/17/2005 9:45 PM  
Blogger JimMiller said...

Snakes on a Plane! Definitely a Scribosphere Hall Of Fame-worthy post.

8/17/2005 9:49 PM  
Blogger josh said...

Luben...thanks for staying tuned...BD stuff may be down the road a piece. Like, say, next week. I'm trying to find a balance between longer and shorter posts and so far seem to keep landing on long ones.

8/17/2005 11:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snakes on a plane - I always tell people that the title is one of the most important things in a story, and they always look at me cockeyed - remember when they changed the title of Cop Leaves Waitress $2 Million Dollar Tip to It Could Happen To You? Who's bright idea was that?

Great story - really looking forward to Koep II - thanks again for sharing.

8/18/2005 7:43 AM  
Blogger Fun Joel said...

Josh --

Welcome to the screenwriting neighborhood fo the Blogosphere. If you're interested in joining the Screenwriter/Blogger Gathering I've organized for THIS Sunday, email me for details! :-)

8/18/2005 8:11 AM  
Blogger John David Roberts said...

More laughs per post than most screenwriting blogs.

How about a feed link so we news aggregator users can get a heads up when you post.

8/18/2005 8:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Josh, this is hysterical.

There has been some eager discussion of Snakes on a Plan on WriterAction, an unofficial bulletin board for WGA members. In fact, I would say that WriterAction is the Internet's second-most thorough resource for inside information on Snakes on a Plane, surpassed only by this blog. You should join.

8/18/2005 8:23 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

What, no heads up? Linked and pimped when the drugs wear off.

8/18/2005 10:08 AM  
Blogger jacqueline said...

Too Rich!

I have now officially added "Snakes on a plane" to my vocabulary.

Now lets see how long it takes to be added to

8/18/2005 10:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that's a helluva lot better than 'Sssss 2'....

8/18/2005 11:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That movie needs a cameo from Harrison Ford. Just a quick shot of a man in an airplane seat shaking his head and saying, "Snakes. Why does it always have to be snakes?"

8/18/2005 12:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

By the way, if you will forgive the self-promotion, I wanted to let you know that I obtained an exclusive sneak preview of the SNAKES ON A PLANE trailer.

8/18/2005 1:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Question--are you going to set up a way for readers to ask questions that you can answer on the site?


8/18/2005 1:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great story.
There's supposed to be a Zombies on a Plane movie coming out too. I'm not sure if it's George Romero or not. Anyone remember? I think about it from time to time.

8/18/2005 2:06 PM  
Blogger Grubber said...

Just remember Josh, this is a blog, you dont need lots of good materials to keep writing in it ;-) Not like you are going to get paid to rewrite it!

8/18/2005 4:14 PM  
Blogger Brandon said...

Like Oh My God! Your blog writing style is so refreshing - Already my new favorite.

8/18/2005 6:03 PM  
Blogger Brandon said...

As you said in your first post - This is a really amazing community of writers and filmmakers. As someone who has yet to prove himself, it's a wonderful opportunity to interact with those who have.

Virtual Mentoring: not as amazing as Real Mentoring, but better than nothing. Thanks!

8/18/2005 6:24 PM  
Blogger Brandon said...

Oh, and I got here from Alex Epstein's blog.

8/18/2005 6:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. Oh my god. I love this story even more than the Koepp story. SNAKES ON A PLANE. I have been obsessed with this movie ever since hearing the title. I was also totally heartbroken at the title change. I think this movie is a microcosm of the entire modern Hollywood system.

8/18/2005 9:57 PM  
Blogger notarysojack said...

I just hope no snakes were harmed in the making of this film. And maybe a William Castle touch would be nice: "In Viper-Vision with Cobra-Rama!!"

Larry Harnisch

8/18/2005 10:31 PM  
Blogger writergurl said...

Or will it be: Snakes in the Hilton! Rated NC-17

Nah, she's already done this one, only it was with one snake and rated XXX.

8/19/2005 1:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Goddmaned brilliant

8/19/2005 11:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah you heard me... I said "goddmaned"

8/19/2005 11:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember reading about the zombie plane on Done Deal. I don't think Romero is involved.

8/19/2005 3:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If William Castle had done this, he would have tossed live snakes in the movie theatre while the film was playing.


8/20/2005 10:05 AM  
Blogger Damon said...

I too errupt in giddiness at the mere mention of Snakes on a Plane. I still laugh whenever the film gets mentioned and someone says "What's it about?" (which is usually followed by "Snakes... on a plane" and then is sometimes followed with "Oh... so it's not a metaphor.)

8/20/2005 3:00 PM  
Blogger Shawna said...

I spent my whole weekend in Vegas with several H'wood assistants. I instructed them of the way of this mantra. Expect to hear it everywhere by end of the week.

8/21/2005 8:06 PM  
Blogger Cunningham said...

After they told me they were thinking of changing the title, I would have said:

"Okay, SLITHER AT 30,000 FEET is about..."

I'm just sayin'...

8/21/2005 9:16 PM  
Blogger Roger Alford said...

First photos! Snakes on a Plane!

8/23/2005 9:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, Mr. Writer... it's BATED breath, not baited. bated adj 1: held back; "we watched the daring feats of the acrobats with bated breath" 2: diminished or moderated; "our bated enthusiasm"; "his bated hopes"

8/23/2005 3:57 PM  
Blogger josh said...

My bad. I actually do know that word.

8/23/2005 6:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was part of the VFX team bidding on this project. And I agree: best title ever. Glad that Samuel Jackson seems to be putting his foot down and keeping the title.

8/23/2005 9:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So today I'm telling my writing partner about Snakes on a Plane, right? And what's the guy say to me?

"Man... what a shit title."

...That fucker may never know just how close he came to an ass beating. What an ignorant asshole.

8/24/2005 7:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am not a horror/thriller fan usually, but I will see this movie, simply because a) this weblog entry was so hilariously well-written, and b) there were so many truisms within.

8/24/2005 8:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

U can finf first pics from SNAKES ON A PLANE at

A classic in the makin`.

8/24/2005 9:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A snake slithering into a vagina or up the anal canal might be entertaining to watch. This is actually an exotic sexual practice in parts of Asia and Indonesia. You can Google it to verify this. The snake is non-poisonous of course and a condom is wrapped around its head this is then taped tight so eventually the snake will suffocate but first it's inserted and allowed to crawl up the passage until the person says stop. The other person then holds the snake's tail so it can't go any further. Presumably orgasm occurs, the snake dies from the lack of air and contractions of the orgasmee then the snake is pulled out and thrown in the trash.

8/24/2005 10:58 AM  
Blogger John Maguire said...

I too have been keeping an eye on Snakes On A Plane! The simplicity of it's complexity, the purity of it's dreadful logic.

Two things:

They should find a cameo for Skippy the Snake hunting Dog. He lives in Hawaii and you can see him in action here.

Sam Jackson follows this snake movie with Black Snake Moan, about a white nymphomanic with a jones for Sam's black dick. That's the title that needs changing.

8/24/2005 11:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm currently novelizing this gem for New Line. You think fixing the problems in the script is challenging, try making the story work as a 95K novel.

Does "sssssssssssss' count as a word?

8/24/2005 11:40 AM  
Blogger arto said...

"I could feel my shoulders tingling now, the paralysis from the venom nearly complete. If I was gonna fight this scaly fucker, it was gonna have to be with my teeth. I tossed the mouse in my mouth, swallowed, and waited with baited breath."

8/27/2005 5:34 PM  
Blogger HappyPete said...

ha ha ha...

8/29/2005 5:31 AM  
Blogger Yummyteece said...

LMAO! The "Snakes on a Plane" story grows by leaps and bounds... I found this thru a story on LiveJournal, who linked it to several other places as well as yours.

Snakes on a Plane - taking over the world one slither at a time.

9/01/2005 11:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I recently began work at one of the many entertainment law firms in Beverly Hills -- my first job in the industry. Yesterday, a SNAKES ON A PLANE legal document (an arbitration agreement, I think) crossed my desk, literally hours after I'd read this post.

I had to laugh out loud. I think that's my favorite Hollywood moment so far (that, or Alec Baldwin verbally mocking, then threatening, a friend of mine at a shoe store on the Third Street Promenade).

9/24/2005 11:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snakes in a motherfuckin' drain.

10/19/2005 3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snakes Flying a Plane Shirt

If there's better way to pretend to be an airplane with snakes flying it then I'd like to hear it. Stick your arms out and make all kinds of weird racket because this plane isn't coming down until these snakes get tired of flying it.

Does this have anything to do with that movie Snakes on a Plane? Absolutely not. Anyway that movie doesn't even come out until August 2006.

10/20/2005 5:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Check out for the "Snakes On A Plane" audio trailer. Go to media "The Other Tracks" section to download. You'll die laughing...

11/20/2005 7:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Snakes on a Plane!" I had a whole comment to write but I just keep looking at the phrase: "Snakes on a Plane" and I am speachless. What possible combination of sounds letters or words could possibly hold a candle to "Snakes on a Plane"? Snakes on a Plane man, Mother fucking snakes on a mother fucking plane. *nuff said*

12/09/2005 12:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said... is currently working on making a full score for the movie composed entirely of one minute songs about snakes on planes:

12/15/2005 7:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snakes on a plane? I'm there! Sounds badass!

12/20/2005 4:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The hype that has slowly begun to build for this movie - a movie for which there are no trailers, little plot synopsis (not that it needs one), nearly all the parts except for Sammy J are filled with relative unknowns - is astonishing. It's unbelievable how the power of the title, by itself, is spreading like wildfire by word-of-mouth and has started a cult following.

Let me put it this way: a friend bought me a Snakes on a Plane shirt for Christmas. And I *love* it.

I don't know if this film can possibly meet the hype that's growing. Even a campy, Bruce Campbell-style thriller would suffice, but the people in charge of this movie need to be informed of what the fanbase is beginning to expect out of them. It's probably too late now, but I truly, truly hope that the movie meets what everyone wants it to be.

Oh, and as long as I'm asking for the impossible: can someone ask Samuel L. Jackson to punch a snake in the 'face' at some point during the film? I would greatly appreciate it.

12/26/2005 12:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I mean, seriously! Here's the Christmas shirt:

Snakes on a Plane Shirt

It's already an inside joke for which there are t-shirts and the movie doesn't come out until August 2006! What madness is this?!

12/26/2005 12:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All I'm sayin is Snakes on a Muh-fukin Plane Man!!! Snakes on a MuhFukin Plane!!!I'm so there I'm in the future already...

12/28/2005 12:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

serpents sur un avion! Vive la revolution!!

1/02/2006 2:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i just subscribed to this blog due to the raw, inhuman power of snakes on a motherfucking plane.

1/04/2006 12:00 AM  
Blogger kilgore said...

And there are so many possibilities for sequels ... Snakes on an 18-Wheeler, Snakes on a Dirtbike, Snakes on a Hovercraft, Snakes on a Scooter ...

1/05/2006 2:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snakes Take Manhattan.
Snakes vs Jason.
Snakeless in Seattle.
Snakes on a Train.
Planes on a Snake.
Snakes on a Cube.

1/08/2006 1:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just have to say I'm glad I wasn't the only one who found a kind of spiritual transcendence in the title "Snakes on a Plane". It gives me faith in this bleak Hollyworld that there should be such simple beauty, such direct and uncluttered understanding of the human condition. Snakes, as the great philosophers used to say, on a motherfucking plane.

1/08/2006 10:26 AM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

Yes I too would like to know if that's really Joss Whedon. I also found a glitch in my browser sorry about my last comment.

1/11/2006 1:38 PM  
Blogger Dr. Pimienta said...

"Serpientes en el aeroplano" Hmm.. doesn't have the vibrancy that you get when you say it in.. wait....

!Culebras en el avión!

There we go.

1/11/2006 8:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm amazed. It's snakes, but they are on a plane, meaning now they can be anywhere. And on that previous posted sequel list you could have added such gems as, Snakes on a Bus, Snakes in Space, Snakes in a Zoo, Snakes and the Chocolate Factory, Snakes in the Jungle, Snakes on the Moon, and for a straight to video release approach, Snakes in the Hood. (Oh strike me down now...)

1/12/2006 12:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Read this from digg...thought it was funny how people are using the title. Then I was reading this article about the new Mac laptop ( and noticed that they too are using "snakes on a plane" to mean've started a new meme!

1/12/2006 7:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am totally glad that "Snakes on a Plane" is not a song because it would


The end.

PS: Why the fuck are you, new guy, getting screenwriting invites and I never get any? That is bullshit. You must be really pretty. Or something.

1/13/2006 6:16 PM  
Blogger Steve DeGroof said...

Excellent name for a movie. Hey, it'd make and excellent name for a blog, too. Or anything else, for that matter:
- a rock band
- a breakfast cereal ("Mmm, they're slithery!")
- a restaurant menu item ("I'll have the Snakes on a Plane and a side of Lizard Nuggets")
The possibilities are endless.

1/16/2006 8:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG, this is literally the best blog i have ever read. Josh Friedman you are a genius. I am a major fan of snakes on a plane (maybe not as big a fan as you) but I found this bog moving. Samuel Jackson says "we got mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane" is a amazing line. I plan to be there first day it opens waiting to see more about snakes on a plane.

1/17/2006 6:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snakes on a Plane 5: Bees on a Skateboard

1/18/2006 1:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So I didn't read all of the comments, but I doubt this is in there... My husband came up with a sequel title - SISS: Snakes on the International Space Station, ahem, I mean Snakes on the Motha-Fuckin' International Space Station.

1/18/2006 3:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, right... it's just, you know, snakes aren't really that scary. Sharks on the other hand...

1/19/2006 2:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Renaissance, the Age of Enlightenment, the Cold War- none of these will have the same cultural and social impact as snakes on a motherfuckin' plane. 25 years from now when I take my kids to "Snakes on a Plane: a Retrospective" I can proudly say I was there, and it was glorious.

1/19/2006 3:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steve DeGroof, did you say it would make a good name for a blog?

You're Right!

Snakes on a Blog!

1/23/2006 3:06 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Quoted you!

Absolutely hysterical. Best. Meme. EVER.

1/23/2006 9:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1/26/2006 8:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

CNN Headline!

1/27/2006 9:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

soap movie poster

hiring ad execs please feel free to contact me borborygmus at gmail dot com


1/29/2006 12:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eventually we'll have to target the teen market. I suggest Josie & the Pussysnakes.

1/31/2006 9:39 PM  
Blogger Kenny said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2/02/2006 7:57 PM  
Blogger Kenny said...

There's a Snakes on a Plane comic now, as well.

2/02/2006 7:59 PM  
Blogger Brad P. from NJ said...

I love SoaP, it's totally Airwolf.


2/10/2006 11:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Emily B. Langton said...
That movie needs a cameo from Harrison Ford. Just a quick shot of a man in an airplane seat shaking his head and saying, "Snakes. Why does it always have to be snakes?"
8/18/2005 12:32 PM"

Aahhhh! You beat me to it!
Anyway, great post. The people on the Slice of Sci-Fi podcast have been shouting "Snakes on a Plane"! and you know I had to Google it.
And I found you. *ding!*
I'm coming back, simply because you rock.

2/14/2006 6:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please find out one simple thing about this movie-- is it played straight? It must be played straight. This better not be some lame look-into-the-camera-and-talk-to-the-audience farce. It better be a movie about snakes and planes and no funny business.

3/01/2006 12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was looking for this post today and so I went to google and i typed "motherfucking snakes" in the box and i almost clicked "i am feeling lucky", because that is how i like to feel when i am thinking about motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane.

That would have done it, but i wasn't feeling lucky, so i just did the search.

google asked me something very stupid. google asked:
"Did you mean: mother fucking snakes"?

sigh... the world just doesn't get it.

3/01/2006 4:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh man, the only thing cooler than seeing SOAP is seeing it on opening night!

oh man
oh man
oh man

3/02/2006 12:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would pay full admission to see just the SoaP trailer, and then yell "The line has started!" before walking out on the feature film.

3/02/2006 12:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love it...."Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane" can hear Samuel L actually saying it: "Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane"?...I'm fucking going...that's all there is to it!".

3/03/2006 1:40 PM  
Blogger Vidista said...

"In August 2006, New Line Cinema will release its highly anticipated blockbuster film, tentatively titled PACIFIC AIR FLIGHT 121.

This is the original independent film that served as the basis for PACIFIC AIR FLIGHT 121."

...okay, so maybe not. But you should still see it anyway. A lot of inspiration for the film came from comments on this blog post, so I apologize if you don't get official credits. And feel free to spread the word.

To view the film, visit:


3/07/2006 3:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find it very important to note that "Snakes on a motherfucking plane" plus "I'm Feeling Lucky" on Google lead to this blog.

Truly, this is a glorious age.

3/10/2006 2:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I ahve read comments and blogs all over the internet about this fabulous movie and they have all made me laugh SOOO much . Anyone know what rating it will be? I need to see this movie. Lovin' it. Sam L Jackson is mad, and this movie will define our generation I feel.

3/12/2006 2:58 AM  
Blogger ATX Night said...

Aug 17, 2005

Half a year later I read this post and like it. I think the trailer should show the title with maybe a breathy voice actor reading it followed by the rating and release date. Any sane person would want to know what happens on that plane. What the hell? It does make a nice koan (I had to look up koan).

3/15/2006 6:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just found this on tagworld:

looks pretty official but not much info...

3/16/2006 9:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So I just googled 'Snakes on a Plane' after seeing the trailer, and landed here. Frankly, my glee at the title and concept is trumped by my glee at finding another person actually working in Hollywood. Hello!

3/17/2006 10:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Check this out...the official trailer is OUT!

3/17/2006 12:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh wait.. it IS funny now.

3/17/2006 1:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everyone knows that the sequel's title is "More Snakes on a Plane" or "Snakes on another Plane"

3/17/2006 2:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This movie was reviewed on Big Invader and already got 4 stars even though it's not released yet:

Awesome job!

3/18/2006 12:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DIY poster for this film:

3/18/2006 4:25 AM  
Blogger ¬°Benjaminista! said...

Surprise ending: the plane IS a snake.

3/18/2006 12:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

get in on the action... make your own "Snakes on a _____" poster!

3/18/2006 6:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just read your amusing take on this shit again and noticed that the link to Sam Jackson story wasn't workin so the new one is:

All the best for you and don't feel too sorry for yourself for not doing THE movie, there will be more snakes on a plane. Ok, not as good as this but they still make zombie flicks, don't they?

Maybe a fork on a table, causing constant threat to all those around.

Same fork could be a wanted weapon and a taboo which they couldn't touch or look at.

Good shit.

3/18/2006 9:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snakes on a Plane will be the best movie ever made... I can't wait. And I am crying with mirth reading your blog. Hilarious! I can't wait to use "Snakes on a Plane" in a conversation and impress my friends. It will replace my usual mantra...Oh Crap! will now become Snakes on a Plane!

As the great Sam Jackson would say: There are motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane.

3/19/2006 1:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sam Jackson should never have been Shaft and therefore must be eaten by said snakes...I bet thats going to end up being some sort of medifore

3/19/2006 5:26 AM  
Blogger C said...

I am SO going to use this ridiculous catch-all, LOL!!

xeoglze: the practice of preaching to aliens

3/19/2006 7:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Somebody needs to figure out how to get Sharks on a Plane.

3/20/2006 1:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


This is going to be so bad it'll be good.

3/21/2006 9:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the best story I have read in a long time. Only recently having come across the trailer to "Snakes on a Plane," I am absolutely entertained by the blogger's connection (or not, for that matter) to the movie. Fantastic last paragraph. Thanks for the laugh.

3/21/2006 11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The entire premise is absurd. If a sharp flight crew had their wits about them, all they would have to do is dump the cabin pressure, turn the heat down, and let the passengers breathe through those little oxygen masks that fall from the ceiling while the crew picks up a bunch of lethargic, and most probably unconscious snakes.

3/23/2006 3:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, those snakes desrve to die. And, I hope they burn in hell!

3/23/2006 4:11 PM  
Blogger Yojay said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3/23/2006 4:42 PM  
Blogger Yojay said...


3/23/2006 4:49 PM  
Blogger Dominic Sayers said...

Monkey Up A Tower

3/24/2006 7:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Geez, I hope you get paid a lot as a screen writer, cause even your blog rants are well written, and funny! I'm still laughing over the last line. Great ending!

- Sean

3/24/2006 2:05 PM  
Blogger President Leechman said...

They shoulda used leeches.

Leeches on a mutherfucking plane.

Snakes are so 20th century.

3/29/2006 11:18 AM  
Blogger matthew said...


3/31/2006 5:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


4/04/2006 3:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope this is in the movie:

Sam Jackson (into the radio): Tell me how to land this thing! The polits got killed by motherfucking snakes!
Tower Operator:What?
Sam Jackson: There are motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!
Tower Operator: What?
Sam Jackson: Snakes! On the plane!
Tower Operator: What?

Shame you didnt get a chance to write it in.

4/04/2006 2:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As far as using a movie title as a phrase, here's one me and a friend have been using for years now: welcome to Mooseport. You use it to mean "it's to be expected."

Wife: Jesus, gas prices are so high.
Me: Welcome to Mooseport.

Doctor: I'm sorry, insurance won't cover this.
Me: Welcome to Mooseport.

For some reason it fits so well that others get it right away. So feel free to make it part of the nerd lexicon.

4/06/2006 5:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All your snake are belong to us.

4/07/2006 7:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find your lack of snakes disturbing.

4/08/2006 2:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So... You're saying there are going to be reptiles of some sort on an aircraft?

4/08/2006 9:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sequel idea...

"Snakes on Mark Twain"

Samuel L.: That mothafucka' wrote Tom Sawyer!!!

4/11/2006 12:23 PM  
Blogger Brian said...

this is a great post- everyone must, by nature, love SOAP, but this is too funny. also, if you haven't heard any of the songs from the recent, uh, contest, try this one out:

and they can... kill you.

4/12/2006 8:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can dig it...

Snakes On a Plane

Rolls off the tongue, just like:

Smoke and a Pancake
Bong and a Blintz

4/13/2006 5:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't fucking(bloody) wait,

It knows what it knows...snakes...on a plane.

4/15/2006 9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Geez, I was looking for something about SOAP, and now I've got this meme stuck in my head!

Return of the Snakes,
Snakes Alive!

-distraught in Norway

4/18/2006 9:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Absolutely hilarious, i can't fucking wait for this movie, its going to be huge hahaha

4/19/2006 11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snakes! on a plane

4/20/2006 3:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard reading something. Fantastic!

4/21/2006 6:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wanna bet a bad guy gets bit in the nuts by a snake then sam jackson offs him
the sequels gotta be SNAKES ON A TRAIN!!!


4/24/2006 9:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Guy, check out this awesome snakes on a plane fan trailer:

Snakes on a Plane fan trailer

4/25/2006 1:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

of all the t-shirts out there for this movie, I think this one is the best...

4/26/2006 6:03 AM  
Blogger Alex said...

Here's the thing. I hate plane movies, and I hate snake movies, but the two together? With a title like that? Genius!

4/28/2006 9:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look out for copycat titles like "Anacondas on a Jet" =p

5/01/2006 2:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ummm, I dont even know how I came across this blog, but it was flippin hillarious, I will now be saying 'snakes on a plane' all of the time, until I run it into the ground.... by the way, there are now 12 definitions on , with a few crediting you!

Good Job... haha

5/01/2006 11:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, turn down the cabin pressure, and have a 5 minute movie. how 'bout you ruin like, 7 out of every 10 other action etc. movies with plot holes with easy solutions?

Also, HILARIOUS! I'd forgotten i'd heard about this movie a while back; i'm glad i found this blog. fantastic.

5/02/2006 12:56 PM  
Blogger brendon said...

Great story!

BTW, why am I finding no reference to the SNL sketch from a few years ago that must have been the idea behind this movie? Will Ferrell is the pilot, a couple is flying to their honeymoon, and suddenly there are "dozens of cobras" in the cabin.

Am I the only one who remembers this sketch? And if so, is it all a horrible dream?

5/03/2006 5:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there are mother fucking Snakes on the GOD-DAMN Plane! Possibly the funniest thing I've read ever. Just when I was getting bored of the internet.

5/04/2006 7:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would like to see this happen. samuel l. jackson is involved in a fight with one of the terrorists who has a gun. jackson punches him causing him to be stunned but the guy is picking up his gun and pointing it at him. jackson surveys the area for a weapon and the only thing he can see is a snake. grabbing the snake by the face jackson swings it in a whip like fashion which knocks the gun out of his hand. jackson hits him again w/ the snake knocking him to the floor. jackson then opens the angry snakes mouth and plunges the snake's venomous fangs into the terrorist's forehead and says, "that's what happens when you bring snakes on my motherfuckin plane."

5/09/2006 10:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(I am so sick of these motherfucking spammers on the motherfucking internet.)

5/24/2006 7:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And I quote from the Guardian "...the producers of Snakes on a Plan have made a singular contribution to the futherance of transperency in public discourse, by demonstrating the depth of the public's desire for truth, and the affection we will return when it is granted us".

5/29/2006 6:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We need a cameo from William Shatner...


5/29/2006 8:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alright, so I'm a little behind on the "Snakes On A Plane" thing. But it just cracks me up. I'm amazed how many people have to ASK what it's about. I also think the porn spoof is inevitable .. "Trouser Snakes On A Plane" ...

5/31/2006 12:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have recently found a letter informing people that snakes on a plane is actually a spoof film and that you should bring rubber snakes to the theatre and throw them into the crowd to scare them. Check it out at this link. Snakes_On_A_Plane.html

5/31/2006 10:39 AM  
Blogger Chuck Darwin said...

the only logical way for this film to end is for the electricity to short circuit in the cockpit and samuel jackson uses a snake to reconnect the fried circuit.

5/31/2006 9:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard that the trailer for Snakes on A Plane is playing in Xmen 3.

I was gonna wait til the crowds died down for X3 before I go to see it...but now I'm going this weekend omgomgomg SOAAPPPP!!!

6/01/2006 9:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

soap teaser that aired with X3

::bows:: it's a beautiful thing

6/06/2006 11:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So found this URL this morning and instantly thought of SOAP. If nothing else the quote is worthy of the film.

6/08/2006 3:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very intresting blog.

6/09/2006 11:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am not a horror/thriller fan usually, but I will see this movie, simply because a) this weblog entry was so hilariously well-written, and b) there were so many truisms within.

Business News

6/09/2006 11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gotta check out the fan kit!

6/09/2006 11:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the most-spammed blog I've ever seen. Curse you spammers!

6/11/2006 10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

see the Orignial before you see SNAKES ON A PLANE

Snake on a plane

6/13/2006 2:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

6/18/2006 8:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WTF people are going crazy about this film, what is so cool about it "snakes on a plane" what is so cool about that?? I think they should put Chuck Norris in this film drop kicking all these snakes to hell i know i know i shouldnt have said Chuck Norris but I think the movie would be a whole lot better if he was in it. please someone tell me the answer to my question some time soon so i can post again seya.


6/25/2006 6:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You will KNOW my name is the LORD when I lay my vengeance upon these motherfuckin' snakes!

6/25/2006 8:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

snakes happen...,2933,197976,00.html

6/26/2006 12:23 PM  
Blogger The Junkie said...

My girlfriend is terrified of snakes. Seeing as how I am really pissed off at her right now, I so need to get this on DVD and play it at home. Every. F-ing. Night.

6/28/2006 5:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snakes in a cathouse or the Mansion of Aching snakes

6/29/2006 2:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you remember "all your base are belong to us"? look what i just found ...


6/30/2006 7:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ya know samuel jackson wanted the movie to be called SNAKES ONA MOTHERFUCKING PLANE and he didnt read the script as soon as he saw the title he wanted to be in it

7/01/2006 8:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I Love "Snakes On a Plane"

7/02/2006 1:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

let samuel jackson know how you feel about his new movie:

that site is letting you have the chance to video chat with the man himself.

7/05/2006 5:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Band in Portland, OR that does a Snakes on a Plane freestyle!

7/05/2006 11:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you love SoaP as much as I do, check out my t-shirt design:

7/09/2006 11:02 AM  
Blogger cavalaxis said...

When you're a writer, people tend to ask you silly questions. Like how do you create a plotline.

I *used* to say, "Get your characters up a tree. Throw rocks at them. And then figure out how to get them down."

Now? Snakes. On A Plane. It's so much easier.

7/12/2006 1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ive been Snakebit!!!!!!! SNAKES ON A PLANE! SNAKES ON A PLANE! Its sweeping the globe!

Next thing you know the copycats will create gems like:


7/13/2006 5:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

7/15/2006 9:24 PM  
Blogger Kwazer said...

Great piece, thanks for the laugh!

I'm actually looking forward to the knockoff: Snakes on a Train!
See them slither down the track.

7/25/2006 9:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

7/26/2006 1:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


7/30/2006 6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it's made it to Cafepress, it's about run it's course.

All Your Snake Are Belong To Us

8/03/2006 5:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how horrible

8/04/2006 8:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

snakes on a plane t-shirts

8/04/2006 10:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Check out SOAP spoofs @

Give Baboons on a Blimp a score of 100.

8/04/2006 11:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

REAL stories of Snakes on Planes:

8/07/2006 7:44 PM  
Blogger Bunifah Alize Jenkins said...

Wonderful post!
What i love is that people are already making it an acronym: SOAP.
I also heard that Sam jackson refused to finish the movie if they changed the title.

8/10/2006 1:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this like the Mentos commercial? - I don't get it - what's so f*$ng great about the phrase Snakes on a Plane? Zen? Try weak, stupid maybe.

8/12/2006 5:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Free Texas Hold'em

8/13/2006 8:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't be fooled -- Snakes on a Plane is really about Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld meeting aboard Air Force 1

8/15/2006 7:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This blog made me pee a little, and also make the back of my head hurt from all the silent laughter from within my cube.

8/15/2006 12:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about as a sequel

Snakes on a Space Shuttle
Snakes on a School Bus
Snakes on a Mobile Home
Snakes on a Daily Commuter Train
Snakes in a Taxi

8/16/2006 4:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Speaking of Sammy Jackson.... Did you see his mother effin' appearance on the mother effin' Daily Show. Great stuff!

8/16/2006 11:28 AM  
Blogger Eric said...

So, this is where the whole thing started... Amazing the fires you can light when you're not really trying. :)

8/16/2006 10:30 PM  
Blogger Dragonetta said...

PJ said...
If William Castle had done this, he would have tossed live snakes in the movie theatre while the film was playing. HEY......
8/20/2005 10:05 AM

Yeah right, PJ, because he would've wanted people to get bitten or have heart attacks from fright so he could get sued.

Stupid and dangerous - a bad combination.

8/17/2006 11:00 AM  
Blogger Dragonetta said...

Anonymous said...

A snake slithering into a vagina or up the anal canal might be entertaining to watch. This is actually an exotic sexual practice in parts of Asia and Indonesia. You can Google it to verify this. The snake is non-poisonous of course and a condom is wrapped around its head this is then taped tight so eventually the snake will suffocate but first it's inserted and allowed to crawl up the passage until the person says stop. The other person then holds the snake's tail so it can't go any further. Presumably orgasm occurs, the snake dies from the lack of air and contractions of the orgasmee then the snake is pulled out and thrown in the trash.

I think you should go home and try it. Seriously. Let us know how it worked out for you... if you can.

8/17/2006 11:03 AM  
Blogger Dragonetta said...

Ok, I think this post is funny and quite possibly one of the best posts I've ever read on the Net, but I'm not buying the whole "You stepped in poop." "Snakes on a plane." zen thing. I hear what you're saying, but it doesn't make sense to me.

To me, "snakes on a plane" makes more sense when it's used to describe a situation out of control. Like a worst case scenario.

Great story, though.

8/17/2006 12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now here's a plainly horrifying movie title:

Spam in a Blog

"We got motherfuckin' spam in this motherfuckin' blog!"

8/18/2006 1:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know the movie debuts today, but is there still time to arrange a scene where a spamming Frenchman gets bit?

8/18/2006 7:46 AM  
Blogger latinageek said...

I saw the movie last night and I loved it! What a fun film! Everyone was in such good spirits too, with their SoaP shirts and hats. It seemed that everyone in line had a snake: rubber snakes, plush snakes, snakes made of those floating tube things for learning to swim... Myself, I had a red feather boa. I had always wanted a feather boa. This movie was just my excuse to finally get it. :)

It's been a long time since I had so much fun at the movies. I'm looking forward to the DVD!

8/18/2006 8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a fantasy film sequel called "Snacks on a Plane"? On my recent trip from the northeast to the southwest no food was served-- I would have eaten a snake! :0
Sssssseriously! Love your blog- glad I tripped over it.

8/18/2006 10:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jacqueline, a responder to your SoaP blog of August 17, 05, commented:

"I have now officially added 'Snakes on a plane' to my vocabulary.

Now lets see how long it takes to be added to"

She posted on 8/18/2005 10:52 AM

Today, 8/18/2006 at about 1 PM EDT, I retrieved an e-mail from Urban Dictionary that listed the "Word of the Day" as Snakes on a Plane. It's meaning was given as an alternate form of "shit happens".

The example was:
Irate guy: Hey man, you just rammed my SUV.
Calm guy: Snakes on a Plane, Dude. Snakes on a Plane.

One year, pretty much to the hour, considering the time zone differences between us.

Chris Zizzo

8/18/2006 10:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its... Mutha Fuckin' snakes on a Mutha Fuckin plane....not motherfucking (that some how changes it for me) lol

8/18/2006 6:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was on a domestic flight yeasterday - in Australia. And when our friendly Head Flight Attendant had finished his saftey speil, he added "Oh, and folks, don't worry, we ain't got no snkes on this plane." I laughed the whole way home.

8/18/2006 6:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's great. I'm glad the urban dictionary picked up on this. My friend Warren turned me on to this with his submission on, and now I use it all the time. Snakes on a plane, etc.

8/18/2006 9:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for starting this hilariously dumb fad. You are the man, right behind Sam Jackson.

8/19/2006 5:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are my hero

8/19/2006 6:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...



8/21/2006 7:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Metal Gear Solid Snake On A Plane!

8/22/2006 2:29 PM  
Blogger Paul Bradshaw said...

Great story behind this movie. I've written a column about it for The Stirrer and my Interactive PR blog at

8/25/2006 5:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

posting in a legendary blog

8/27/2006 11:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny movie. Definately going to watch it again.

8/27/2006 9:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm dyin 2 c it it looks sooooooooooooo scary i'm 12 iz it a 15. hisssssssssssssssssss

9/02/2006 8:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you wrote this. It gives some deapth to the film and now, esp. since it's not been getting a lot of press (though I've heard it's good) I'm going to actually GO instead of thinking about going. . . .

looks like your blog has been hijacked. keep the faith, though, your writing is well worth reading! tms

9/04/2006 5:36 PM  

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