Monday, September 26, 2005

The Devil Made Me Pitch It

It seems that one of the sub-genres of the screenwriter blog is the pitch post. From what I can tell, everybody's a fucking expert on pitching projects. Everyone's got a song, a dance, a corkboard, some Willy Loman trick. I love John Rogers's recent post on pitching television and I even found myself using the term "story lens" in a meeting. Of course I have no idea what "story lens" means and there's a pretty good chance I used the term incorrectly. But whatever. It's not like these people know what I'm talking about half the time anyway. In fact, if I make the classic mistake of asking for that second Diet Coke, there's a good chance I'll do at least one five minute caffeinated riff about whatever's within my reach on the coffee table.

The truth is, I pitch like a drunk sailor. In my twelve years of Monkeydom I cannot remember EVER selling an original feature idea in pitch form. I've had meetings that resulted in me getting hired for jobs, but I'm pretty sure that a) I already had the job going into the meeting and could only have lost it or b) my competition had been arrested for child endangerment earlier in the day.

The truth is, I've never been a fan of the hard sell. My feeling is, you know what I do. If you want me, hire me. If you don't, don't. I've got stuff on the Tivo. I used to have this attitude towards dating and frankly it did not serve me well. It led to episodes such as the one in high school where my senior year girlfriend agreed to go to prom with a skinny guy from the cross-country team WHILE WE WERE STILL DATING.

SENIOR YEAR GIRLFRIEND: "I dunno, Josh. I just didn't know if you were going to ask me. And he brought flowers."

Needless to say we broke up soon after and I spent prom passed out in a gulley by the side of a road with a friend of mine. I've never talked to senior year girlfriend again but in a strange meta-note, the father of my gulley-friend occasionally comments on this very blog. Thanks for your support Dan!

Now you'd think after events like this I would have learned a bit about what people want and how to give it to them before they leave you high and dry holding a plastic pitcher of 3.2 beer and a fake University of Colorado Student I.D. with the name John Fredschmidt on it.

But the reality is, not only can I not close the deal when I've been spotted a touchdown and the ball, but my aversion to competition of ANY SORT makes me about the worst salesman of all time.

This was me in college. I consider this my HARD SELL:

COLLEGE GIRL JOSH LIKES HIS FRESHMAN YEAR: Hey, Josh. Me, Unicycle Riding Guy, Deadhead Hackey Sack Expert Guy, Prep School Drug Connection Guy, and Guy Who Always Plays Rocky Raccoon on His Acoustic Guitar in the Lounge are going out to a bar so they can vie for my attention. Wanna come?
ME: Hmm...No...I'm just gonna...watch my roommate drape our room in white sheets. But, you know, when you come back...if you want a backrub...I'll leave the door unlocked.
COLLEGE GIRL: It'll probably be late.
ME: S'alright. I'll be up.
COLLEGE GIRL: Really late. I'm probably gonna hook up with Rocky Raccoon guy.
ME: Well, you know...if he finishes early...

Seriously. That's me.

And even though Hollywood will fuck you when no one else will there's no guarantee you're getting laid without doing a little legwork. It's just whose definition of legwork and how much of it's leg and how much of it's WORK. Unfortunately I still model meetings after dates. I'm good for some intelligent conversation, I'll make you laugh with my self-deprecating humor, I ask good questions and I'm a VERY ATTENTIVE LISTENER.

But if you're looking for dogs and ponies you've definitely got the wrong monkey. The thought of selling a project by helping the executive "see the movie" makes me feel flushed and queasy--sort of like seducing a woman by helping her "see the sex."

Which, by the way, would go like this:

ME: So...we're gonna have sex. It's gonna be...awkward. Not in a funny way. Just, you know, uncomfortable. Oh wait! I forgot the important part! I'm a premature ejaculator!

Hi. Did I mention how much I love my wife?

Anyway, if there's a pitch involved the job usually goes somewhere else. And before I get a lot of e-mails telling me how I'm pissing away all these wonderful opportunities let me correct that misperception.

I'm pissing away a lot of mediocre opportunities.

When it comes to assignments there are few great jobs to be gotten, few prize plums to be divided amongst a large crowd of deserving writers. (Some of whom are already booked until 2007 but, hey, you can never have too much money or too big a gaping maw of thirsty approval-need.)

Now most of these pitching how-to's don't concern themselves with getting assignments. After all, most people who want to know about pitching want to know how to pitch original ideas because they imagine that's how they'd spend their time if they were working screenwriters. For my money, if I'm gonna spend the time working out a pitch on an original idea IN THE TYPE OF DETAIL REQUIRED TO SELL IT...well I'm just gonna write it on spec.

Because while there are ideas that cannot be pitched and can only be written, there are few (if any) ideas that cannot be written and should only be pitched. Sure, there are REASONS to pitch as opposed to write, and most of those reasons have to do with your childhood traumas.

In short, writers whose parents ignored them so they became class clowns like to pitch first and write second. On the other hand, writers whose parents ignored them so they became awkward little geeks who stayed in their room and read Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators like to write first and pitch never.

Writers who were both class clowns and awkward little geeks like to create blogs.

There's only one pitch I've ever heard of that I wish I would have done.

My friends Scott Derrickson and Paul Boardman wrote The Exorcism of Emily Rose. For those of you who don't know, the movie is based on a true case which occurred in Germany around 1970. While researching another project, Paul and Scott were given an audio tape by a NYC police detective who investigated the occult. When he gave it to them he said: "I don't even know if I should give this to you. I truly believe playing this tape is dangerous."

And what's on the tape? THE RECORDING OF THE REAL EMILY ROSE'S EXORCISM FROM THIRTY YEARS AGO.

It was this tape that inspired them to write the movie. And it was this tape that helped them sell the project. Because what did they do? Well they did what you and I would hope we'd do if we were in their position. They'd take that scary-ass tape from studio to studio and play it for people.

The way I understood it went was like this: Scott and Paul would go into the room, do their pitch, and then pull out the tape recorder and some headphones. One of them would say: "There are those that believe just playing this tape invites darkness into our lives." Then the curious exec would put on the headphones, thus drowning out all other EARTHLY AND NORMAL noise.

Then they'd press play.

Now from what I understand the tape is ABSOLUTELY THE MOST TERRIFYING THING YOU'VE EVER HEARD and consists of a girl DYING while screaming in German at two priests attempting to pull SIX DEMONS from her body.

Then Scott and Paul would leave.

Now that's better than Rocky Raccoon anyday.

67 Comments:

Anonymous KeithD said...

For the love of God, please stop blogging.

First of all, you’ve turned me into a blog addict (blogict?). I keep checking once, sometime two or three times, a day to see if you’ve had the nerve to sully the internet with your ramblings about poking dogs in the eye with sharp flags, shrimp cocktail appetizers, and other blather that has nothing whatsoever to do with screenwriting.

My disappointment at not discovering a fresh blog is surpassed only by those occasions when I DO discover a fresh blog, because then I am then compelled to drop whatever I’m doing and spend time reading something from a writer who’s obviously a much better writer than I. Funnier too, damnit.

Which, of course, leads us to the issue of blog envy. You’ve destroyed any desire on my part to start my own blog. The bar has been set just a little too high. I hope you’re happy.

Last, but not least, is the physical pain your blogs cause. As a screenwriter, I am not used to smiling for periods longer than three seconds. My facial muscles are accustomed to frowning, not smiling. So to be forced to grin all the way through one of you interminable blogs is, to be honest, quite painful.

So please cease and desist. Or I shall be forced to consider legal action (at which time I shall be requesting your father’s phone number).

9/26/2005 9:03 PM  
Anonymous Sayla V said...

So are most pitches the result of preparation? I mean, do you go in there with, like, the screenwriting equivalent of a powerpoint presentation?

Or is it more that you go into something that's just supposed to be a "discussion" meeting, and then a guy in a nice suit says, "tell ya what, imagine you had to pitch this idea to me... what would you say?" and you pull something out of your rear?

9/26/2005 9:04 PM  
Anonymous Joshua said...

Thank you.

9/26/2005 9:22 PM  
Anonymous nova said...

Dang.

That last part scared me.

Well, the part about "pitching" did, too.

Very interesting stuff.

9/26/2005 9:39 PM  
Blogger Bill Cunningham said...

I understand the shortest pitch was by Robert Kosberg (sp?) who pitched DRAGNET by going into the office and saying...

"Dum de dum dum. Dum de dum dum dah..."

9/26/2005 10:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

damn...that's a good prop.
i'm sure people have used puppet shows. i wonder if that works.

9/26/2005 11:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And look at the movie.

Bob Kosberg is an idiot. I know this for a fact.

9/26/2005 11:56 PM  
Blogger Chris (UK Scriptwriter) said...

Hey! I used to sit in my room and read 'The Three Investigators'.

That must be why I would never have any idea how to put up a good pitch.

9/27/2005 12:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh gods, if thats what it takes I'll kill three execs a day.

9/27/2005 12:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy shit, I LOVE your Blog so much I could scream in german. Which is not that difficult a task, I live there. But us "only-five-demons-in-chest"-guys just don't get noticed anymore, in this damn country ;)

*waves*
Tom | Skar

9/27/2005 1:58 AM  
Blogger Stephen Gallagher said...

What is it with Rocky Raccoon? We had a guy who used to sit playing it too.

Last time I saw him he was one-third of Stock, Aitken and Waterman*

(*Britpop songwriting millionaires, for those too classy to know)

9/27/2005 2:29 AM  
Anonymous Mr. Minate said...

Rocky Raccoon is a damn fine song. Still waiting for the part when someone posts an obscure link where I can hear that damn exorcism tape

9/27/2005 4:12 AM  
Anonymous Dan Culberson said...

I agree with you completely about pitches, Josh, but NOEL never told me about what you two did on prom night! Should I be disappointed or proud?

I'm sure you heard about the bet he and Tom had in Noel's back yard in the snow that made me proud.

9/27/2005 5:19 AM  
Blogger skip90291 said...

I'm so glad you wrote this, Josh. As a working writer, I've always felt guilty about my complete lack of interest in pitching. Hey, I walk into a meeting with as much verve as the next guy. Oh yes, I'm pleasant, engaging and full of creative insights. But pitching is just really stupid. If they want me, they should read me, since that's what they're hiring me to do in the end anyway: write. Pitching seems to be the lazy executive's test of out mettle--even though, in truth, it's simply a test of one's personality, and these executives should be reminded that too many good writers are not extroverts. I don't prepare for pitches. Maybe I'm lazy. Instead, I just rely on the fact I'm much, much smarter than the people I'm pitching too. I also know a few TERRIBLE writers who are good at pitching and do sell them on occassion. I can only imagine what the final scripts look like.

For me, the worst pitch scenario is the one where the sale is clearly not going to happen, as the exec or director receiving the pitch starts to ask a bunch of stupid questions like "what are this character's quirks" and "what makes them special"? And I'm like, I haven't written the friggin' script yet you loser. Except not in so many words.

9/27/2005 6:49 AM  
Anonymous Juancho said...

As for the tape, I think they played that thing on Coast to Coast AM the other night, it was about 3 AM and I decided I did NOT want to be freaked out by that shit at that time of the morning.

9/27/2005 7:07 AM  
Blogger TC said...

Ok, dude, how did you know about the Three Investigators part? Because, you know, that's just creepy.

9/27/2005 7:56 AM  
Blogger Gary said...

I have yet to find a copy of the German girl's exorcism but I did find a tape from a Russian exorcism.

I hosted it on my webspace for you guys to check out:

http://www.twinfallsroad.com/sounds

Enjoy!

9/27/2005 8:12 AM  
Anonymous Japanese KowTow said...

Hey, were you at my school? Rocky Raccoon guy is everywhere! Except my unicycle guy could play the bongos AND juggle while riding his unicycle over gullied out dirt trails - he was my hero but I never told him. Instead I hooked up with drug connection guy who many years later I saw on Americas Most Wanted for a double homicide.

I keep thinking there's a script I should write in there somewhere but then I worry he'll see the movie and go "hey, there's that chick I deflowered when she was an innocent young thing" and look me up.

What I really need is a ghostwriter - ha! or a nom de plume. that's it. I'll be Japanese KowTow.

9/27/2005 8:32 AM  
Blogger John August said...

Dude...

Three Investigators. Here's how much I loved them:

1. I tried to get fat, just so I could be more like Jupiter Jones.
2. I kept asking my parents if we could pile up junk around our trailer. (Yes, we had a trailer out back.)
3. Remember the client from that made-up European country, August August August? I changed my name to August.

9/27/2005 8:44 AM  
Blogger The Moviequill said...

'Writers who were both class clowns and awkward little geeks like to create blogs.'

I resemble that remark, and do you have any idea how difficult it is to hide the big shoes?

9/27/2005 8:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A friend of mine said he loathed pitching and feels writers should write, not pitch. In his opinion, execs like pitches because they feel like they can be more involved in the creative process. With a script, the writer already has ideas about what the story should be and then they have to argue with the writer. With a pitch, they get a chance to create a story. If these execs were writers, they'd be writing.

9/27/2005 9:26 AM  
Anonymous LLC Lumpencraft said...

I had a bizarre series of pitches -- my first in LA as it happens -- which in the Capitalized Nomenclature of this blog I'd like to call the Infinite Mirror.

This is how it went. I had an idea. A little butterfly. Foolishly, I tell my Agent.

Agent cooks up a meeting with company. I go in and thumbnail the story, as I often do -- sometimes just to myself despite the strange looks -- and whaddya know? Turns out, they really like it, and...

"They want to hear more."

Now, back then I didn't know this meant: "we don't really like it, we just like to watch you dance."

So I leave. And a few days later, I get called back to 'outline the act breaks in more detail'. Hmm, thinks my neophyte brain. They DO like it. I am very good at dancing!

So I go in again. More, more. They really, really like that. Oh yes. Another call. Another meeting. Another level of detail. And again, again, again.

Each time I turn up, a more senior member of the company arrives at the table and nods sagely. I figure at some point, all the Knights of the Round Table will have assembled, King Arthur will show up, and I can call my lawyers to get a deal memo started.

No such luck. I start to get a high-pitched whining in my ear which I think might be the sound of feedback. I am called back a final time to clarify and elucidate.

By now this little butterfly of an idea is starting to resemble something out of MICROCOSMOS. There is more detail than, really, anyone should have to see in polite company. You can make out the striations in this butterfly's calf muscles. I honestly got to the point where I was telling the story in more detail than if I HAD SIMPLY READ OUT THE SHOOTING SCRIPT LINE BY LINE IN REAL TIME. I had effectively novelised the screenplay whilst INSIDE THE SCREENPLAY, which didn't yet exist. Hence, I think, the sound of feedback.

There is white space in a screenplay for a reason and that is for the reader to step up and fill in certain elements with their own imagination. What I was doing at their behest was filling in the blanks for them, decorating the house as it were, taking high definition photographs of every single character and blowing them up on the ceiling above their bed. But this was my first time. I was on fire. I was nearly there.

And then -- silence. "Liked it, didn't love it."

Next step, of course, was to simply record myself telling this pitch to the wall and typing it up as a spec. But -- and this is, I think, the problem with pitching -- I couldn't face it. I'd already told the story. I was done. The idea now bored me fucking senseless. The buttefly had gone back into its chrysalis and re-emerged looking like Mickey Rooney in a basque. With tentacles. And those bodybuilder calf muscles Clive James once termed "a condom full of walnuts." So... I did what any sensible person would do in that situation. I sold it to John Waters.

9/27/2005 9:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

3.2 beer...makes me want to go to Ladies night at Pogo's.

That downstairs musty, sweaty aroma that only quality Freshman can produce.

Rocky Raccoon guy - I'm sure I knew him.

And the gal in your Hawking post? I think I knew her as well.

Thanks for the memories and this website.

As for pitching? I've been told I'm good in a room but I don't start feeling good about it until I find myself repeating the words: Exactly! Exactly!

To whatever they've said.

And it doesn't matter what they've said.

Exactly! Exactly!

Keep posting,

85Knight

9/27/2005 10:40 AM  
Blogger Tommy Naccarato said...

As I type this, Repo Man is on the Sundance Channel. A damn fine movie if there ever was one. A great story too. (The Ralphs Market plain wrap items used throughout the film were sheer brilliance, as in example when Emilio Estevez is eating out of a can labled, "FOOD.")

I would have enjoyed being a fly on the wall for that pitch.

Mr. Lupencraft, I have a perfect name for your blog, if you should start one:

LLC Lumpencraft said...

It has a certain ring to it.... Wait a second, I'm starting to sound as if I'm trying to sell (pitch) this to you!?!? Never mind! I don't have that kind of time to be reading all of these blogs!

Way to go Josh. I now have my laugh for the week. Also, if someone should find that Emily Rose exorcism tape, please do post it!

9/27/2005 11:33 AM  
Blogger Scott the Reader said...

I loved the Three Investigators books. A couple of months ago, I checked out to see how much hardcover copies were going for on e-Bay, and I was appalled. Apparently a lot of people liked them.

9/27/2005 12:18 PM  
Blogger Vince said...

Re: the psychological factors that determine which type of screenwriter you are

In the words of Troy McClure, "My God, it's like you've known me all my life!"

9/27/2005 3:03 PM  
Anonymous Konrad West said...

Blog envy. Yes.

It's a sad day in your life when someone who posts as sporadically as Josh can so effortlessly create post addicts, while you struggle to attract anyone despite aiming for a-post-a-day of occasionally humorous insights.

Well, if I can't compete on the blog stakes, there's always penis enlargement.

9/27/2005 5:20 PM  
Anonymous shannon said...

I agree with keithd. Aside from obsessively checking your blog regularly like a drooling addict in need of a fix, now I cannot possibly start my own blog. Many times I have decided to start one, usually after reading some crappy blog and thinking to myself, "Wow, I can write much better than this and look and all this traffic this blog gets"
Then, I read you and reality sends me crashing back down because I will never ever be as funny or engaging as you are and I hate being second best. Keithd was right, the bar is far too high now and I have far too much pride to even pretend to have a fraction of your talent.
But I don't want you to quit. I want you to keep blogging even more and provide me my fix. It's the very least you can do.

9/27/2005 5:26 PM  
Blogger Julie Goes To Hollywood said...

I'm seeing a theme here, where, like the girl who married well, you've succeeded in part by keeping your legs closed. Both this and your "no sushi, no deal" post remind me of the two chicks who wrote "The Rules" a few years back. I feel so dirty, having given it away all over town, and for what? From now on I meet with no man on Friday who hasn't asked me by Tuesday! No fish, no pitch!

9/27/2005 6:16 PM  
Anonymous Devon said...

Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators! LOL! I read every single one when I was a kid. Very cool seeing it referenced in your blog.

9/27/2005 8:15 PM  
Blogger madscreenwriter said...

Y'know I'd rather read your blog than watch TV. That's how sad my life has become. What will be distubring you next is your growing cult following. I know some security guys who work cheap.

9/28/2005 7:10 AM  
Blogger Matt Waggoner said...

If Josh's screenplays are half as good as his blog posts, we're going to have to get some money together and clone him. I want at least half of all studio pics written by Friedman by 2010.

9/28/2005 12:40 PM  
Blogger hermit of the hills said...

THREE INVESTIGATORS...wohoooooo... here in germany there are actually still written sequels to these books.... and more important these stories are turned into audio features.....tapes whatever you're calling it in english. there's even a feature film planned for next year which is currently in pre production. *sigh* so great to read your reference... and again this post played in front of my inner eye just like a hilarious film. it's so cute and absurd that dan is actually posting here... :)

9/28/2005 3:45 PM  
Blogger josh friedman said...

Es ist doch schade dass ich kein Deutsch spreche. Velleicht haette ich das Drehbuch fuer " Three Investigators" schreiben koennen. Leider sind wir Amerikaner doch zu egozentrisch um andere Sprachen zu lernen.
C'est la vie.
Oder wie wir hier gerne sagen...Schlangen auf einen Flugzeug.

9/28/2005 6:24 PM  
Anonymous mohan said...

hey-- thanks for sharing. i'm glad i found the site. if you don't mind me asking, can you dispense your wisdom on a topic that i need to learn more about? that topic is "following up."

so. what happens if a pitch goes well, or you send a treatment along and the first response is "we like this, let me get back to you..." ...but you don't have agents or managers (that are in some odd way more qualified to handle this) check in on behalf of you?

for me, i'd rather get a fat "no way, fuck you, and fuck your dead grandmother too" than a non-answer.(especially if there's money involved. money that will pay last month's rent.)

but if you wait the definitive 3 weeks (which somehow turns into 2 weeks (...9 business days really (if you're lucky))) with the pleasant "hey, just checking in, i just want to know one way or the other so i can stop devoting 50% of my life thinking about it and emailing collaborators about when-do-you-think-we'll-know and telling myself i don't care even though it might be the most important call as of yet in my life so far."

i've thought about lying, like "well i need to know soon cuz this imaginary exec wants to work with me, and i gotta let them know or else i might lose this other less-awesome opportunity so you better go for it now cuz I'm the shit, i mean i'm so awesome! my dick is HUGE, duderbro! FUCK!!!" but would feel so ______ for doing so.

for me, and i'm sure there are others like this, more often than not i go way overboard in giving them an out, to let them know that in no way i will be offended if they don't like it. "yeah, it's cool you didn't get back to me, i thought it sucked too, what was i fucking thinking!" making it really safe for them to reject.

and like, you mention actually having called an exec once-- most execs i would think would hate that! bothersome. forcing them in an awkward position, where they can't revise their speech as they could in an email that they actually won't send. that is-- if you can get past the gatekeeper. you were really lucky there, man.

so, please, won't you entertain us with your witty anecdotes and pleasurable banter in regards to the aforementioned arena of discussion. it would be greatly appreciated.

9/28/2005 6:56 PM  
Blogger Doctor Memory said...

A small (?) point of order. The sounds on that tape were not of a woman "dying while (...) two priests attempt to pull six demons from her body."

The sounds on that tape are of a young woman suffering from epilepsy and schizophrenia being murdered in cold blood by two religious fanatics with assistance from her parents.

Just sayin'.

9/28/2005 8:50 PM  
Blogger oldTiago said...

The three investigators weren't as popular as the famous five here in Portugal but my school's library had some old copys and me and my brother read them all.
It's time to try to find those old books in some flee market...

9/29/2005 6:31 AM  
Blogger Morose said...

Ye gods, I want that tape. I want it as a ringtone. I want it to sound when people push the doorbell. I want to play it in my car.

9/29/2005 6:41 AM  
Blogger Chibithulhu said...

Chibithulhu often relaxes to the sound of exorcism tapes.

9/29/2005 6:42 AM  
Blogger Pete Bauer said...

Premature Ejaculation... is there really such a thing? I mean, by whose definition is it premature? :)

9/29/2005 8:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shortest (and well ... most successful) pitch ever was James Cameron's for Titanic

"Romeo and Juliet on the Titanic"

EAT THIS JOSH ... muaahahaa

9/29/2005 9:05 AM  
Anonymous The Guy With Your Wife said...

Anything under two hours is premature.

9/29/2005 11:54 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

I think Into the Blue would have had a short pitch:

'Jessica Alba in a bikini.'

9/29/2005 11:42 PM  
Anonymous Craig Mazin said...

Boy, and here I was thinking I was the only moron in the world who liked those Three Investigators books.

The chats with Hitch (how insane was that?). The free driver service that Jupiter one through legalist wrangling over a "how many gumballs" contest (I think that's what the contest was).

The chalk question marks!

Oh, and Josh...that post was the most words I've ever seen anyone use to say "I'm lazy."

9/30/2005 5:52 AM  
Blogger oldTiago said...

and the best door for a secret headquarters ever...

9/30/2005 11:53 AM  
Anonymous On the couch with a bowl of popcorn said...

Okay. We're ready for the next one.

9/30/2005 11:45 PM  
Anonymous Latte said...

Yes, I guess if writers were at all inclined to compete, we would have gotten ourselves a fun and exciting life instead of writing about it. The world would have been full of football teams. And empty libraries.

Personally, I couldn't relate more to your way of handling pitches and women alike, with that passive not-even-aggressive approach of oh well, if it's meant to be, it'll happen anyway.
Which, of course, it never does.

Fun fact: Three Investigators are called Tre Deckare in Swedish.
Less fun fact: Together with Bröderna Hardy they formed my childhood too.
Apalling fact: Twentyfive years later, I'm still sitting alone in my room. Only difference is today I don't spend my time reading material of questionable intellectual level. I write it.

Love your blog!

10/03/2005 1:09 AM  
Blogger Dave said...

Josh --

I find your lack of blogs disturbing.

DV

10/03/2005 9:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This isn't a blog, its an annual report.

10/03/2005 10:13 AM  
Anonymous Vern the redneck said...

I know where he lives, and he's got a purdy mouth. Let's go take turns making him blog.

10/03/2005 2:39 PM  
Blogger Kelly J. Compeau said...

I'm also not interested in the hard-sell pitch meeting, Josh. I have a very big project in the works here in Canada and I tell prodco people to visit my online proposal if they want to learn more about it. They can easily make their decision based solely on the info that's available there, so why do they feel the need to ask me to meet them face to face for a 20 minute meeting (usually in another city, which would require several hours of travel time) so I can try and sell them on it?

Sorry. Not this chick.

Either you like the idea as I've presented it online and you want to work with me, or you don't. End of story.

10/03/2005 2:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Regarding Rocky Raccoon..

You can play it drunk, way too slow, out of key, on an out of tune guitar with a busted string and the confused college freshmen will still recognise it as "that one Beatles song" and think about the bible they stole from an Ohio motel room prom weekend after their high-school boyfriend got them drunk on wine-coolers and rum stolen from his father's liquor cabinet.

I only remembers two tunes on the guitar from those days. "Rocky Raccoon" and "Iron Man". Rocky got me the ladies and Iron Man got them to make me put it away when they asked for something else.

Fake a little accent when you sing along, works even better.

10/03/2005 3:59 PM  
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10/03/2005 11:07 PM  
Blogger Smallman said...

I skim a lot of blogs, and so far yours is in the Top 3 of my list of favorites. I'm going to dive in and try my hand at it, so wish me luck.

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10/04/2005 12:33 AM  
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10/05/2005 8:43 AM  
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10/05/2005 10:22 AM  
Blogger The Sumerian said...

ok. so who do I have to kill to get a hold of this tape?

10/15/2005 6:58 PM  
Blogger The Sumerian said...

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10/15/2005 7:39 PM  
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and

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5/06/2006 2:44 PM  
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5/11/2006 5:27 PM  
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5/17/2006 12:27 PM  
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5/23/2006 11:39 AM  

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